Brain Fog & Crossed Wires

like to joke that acotar would be better if tamlin and lucien could be gay , but know reality of this is , would still personally find unbearable to read , just would be gay instead . actually watch through some videos about later series entries , in which there is 1 singular bisexual woman who spend 6 pages to monologue entire history and sexuality , and then never appear again . pretty sure if SJM try to write gay or bisexual men , would fall into all of worst tropes and stereotypes .  

of course , some fans pick up slack with gay art and fanfiction , but ... lots of this seem to be pre-story or extreme fixer-upper AUs , in which just make nearly everything up , because fundamentally incompatible with actual stories and various counts of character assassination , most notably tamlin's . at that point , personally feel like would not be worth effort to work with source material at all , and might as well just rip off favourite parts to make something new . not sure how feel about engage with fandom in which main appeal is to literally ignore all of source material . sure , there is some stuff that personally ignore or write over in elder scrolls character stories , but at least genuinely enjoy elder scrolls games and concepts as is . 

have to admit , there is funny irony in faeries tell humans how to spot generative AI fakes .

or as people might more likely say , second screen - to keep media on in background , while pay attention to phone or otherwise . but would say also go for crafters to some extent , like crocheters and knitters .

on one hand , definitely understand need for something to fill background , especially if live with other people who make noises and distractions . on other hand , sometimes fail to see why music is not enough for that . do not think music should always be in background either , but at least serve role of filter out in interesting way , without take too much attention to tune back in and enjoy as is .

maybe just have wonky perspective because HOH - even when medium is audio only like podcast , will follow transcript , or if there is none , then will make sure to avoid all other distractions so as to hone in on comprehension . this is not to say that never play other things in background , but honestly ? this is almost always something that already know well enough to not lose track if tune out .

again , there is sort of ... on one hand , to use videos like this can give clear markers of how much time pass . just get through two 20 minute videos while crochet , so know 40 minutes , which means just about time to make lunch . on other hand ... surely all these music platforms can estimate playlist length and let user choose , right ...? but maybe give some of these platforms too much credit >.>

if really interest in something , then would like to watch that thing as is . even if that means , say for example , defunctland's latest nearly 4.5 hour video - which still only halfway finish , watch in bits over this past week . not because of video's failure to keep interest , but need breaks to do other things , to recuperate from listening fatigue , and sometimes to watch shorter things in between . 

just feel that beyond personal accessibility needs for captions and transcripts , people use visual mediums when visual components important - otherwise would be audio podcasts , books , or whatever else . therefore , feel like make sense to give best attention possible .

there is another thing that frustrate about regression / kid-front spaces , and that is just , so much dependency on caregivers - ask for caregiver to help with this craft , let caregiver handle hot stove and sharp knives , just sit back worry-free . and of course can not fault anyone for find comfort in that , as often tie to frustration of guardians who neglect and refuse care . but other end of spectrum happen too - kids whose guardians overly shelter and refuse any independence , especially if disabled , such that never get to learn life skills until late in life , so important part of regression is to build independence . feel there is no real recognition of this among these spaces .

in addition , as other collectives will say - someone might have feelings and internal age that line up with childhood , but have 5 ,10 , 20+ years of experience within collective - everyday tasks of adulthood not necessarily problem in that case . tend to feel similarly here , because fae ages can be just as funky ... this is why split into 3 categories when relevant - chronological existence , external appearance , and internal feelings . that chronological existence can give wisdom , perspective , and life experiences that might not align with expectations of both external and internal ages . 

so all in all , sprouts here actually prefer as much independence as possible . want to be able to ask for help without shame if help become necessary , but do not want to have watch over shoulder and supervise , nor fully take over experience . understand that is comfortable for others , but frustrate that this is so commonly accept as only way to be .